Caring for an aging parent is one of the most meaningful roles a person can take on. Many families across Massachusetts and Connecticut begin caregiving with love and good intentions, often assuming that providing care at home will be more affordable than moving a parent to assisted living.
Yet the cost of caregiving is often much higher than families anticipate. When emotional strain, lost income, out-of-pocket expenses, and health impacts start to add up, the role can quickly become overwhelming.
As a family-owned and operated organization, The Arbors and The Ivy have supported caregivers for decades. Families often reach out after realizing the hidden financial and personal costs that come with being the primary caregiver. Understanding the cost of caregiving can help you make informed decisions that protect your well-being and your parent’s quality of life.
What is the hidden cost of caregiving?: 5 costs you might have missed
Many families consider the time and money needed for medical appointments, meals, and daily routines. What often goes uncounted are the ripple effects caregiving has across a person’s finances, health, career, and relationships. These hidden pressures can reshape a caregiver’s life for years.
1. Direct financial costs
Caregiving often requires ongoing spending that goes beyond groceries and doctor visits. According to AARP’s Family Caregiving and Out-of-Pocket Costs Report, 78% of family caregivers incur out-of-pocket costs. In 2016, family caregivers spent an average of $6,954 as a result of caregiving, typically about 20% of a caregiver’s income.
Common direct costs include:
- Home modifications to support mobility
- Medical supplies, over-the-counter items, and safety equipment
- Transportation to frequent appointments
- Higher utility bills when a parent moves in
- Meal delivery or prepared foods when time becomes limited
- Hired help to fill in gaps during work hours or emergencies
2. Indirect costs: Lost income, benefits, and retirement savings
One of the highest hidden costs of caregiving is income loss. Caregivers often reduce their hours, turn down promotions, or leave their jobs entirely to keep up with daily responsibilities. The typical caregiver loses significant long-term earnings, with one MetLife study estimating lost wages at nearly $143,000 for women who leave the workforce to care for a parent.
Indirect financial losses may include:
- Missed contribution to retirement accounts
- Lost employer health insurance
- Delayed or stalled career advancement
- Decreased Social Security earnings
- Reduced long-term financial security
3. Hours spent on caregiving
Time is one of the most underestimated costs of caregiving. According to the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, caregivers provide an average of 24.4 hours of unpaid care per week, and nearly one in four spend more than 41 hours weekly.
These hours often include:
- Meal preparation
- Managing medications
- Coordinating medical appointments
- Transportation
- Personal care tasks like bathing and dressing
- Managing household needs for two households
4. Mental health and burnout
The costs of caregiving can take a significant toll on emotional well-being. More than half of caregivers report symptoms of depression. Many report experiencing anxiety, chronic stress, irritability, or social withdrawal as responsibilities intensify.
Signs of caregiver burnout are common, including exhaustion, trouble sleeping, strained relationships, and increased health issues. Mental health challenges have financial implications as well, such as:
- Increased healthcare visits
- Time off work
- Medication costs
- A need for paid support during periods of overload
5. Career advancement
Even when caregivers stay employed, professional growth can stall. Juggling appointments, last-minute emergencies, and long caregiving hours often limits opportunities for training, leadership roles, or skill development.
Career impact may include:
- Missed promotions
- Difficulty meeting performance expectations
- Limited opportunities for professional development
- Challenges returning to the workforce after time away
The “Sandwich Generation:” Caring for parents and children at the same time
Adults caring for both children and aging parents face added pressure. Balancing school schedules, family routines, and caregiving responsibilities can stretch finances and emotional capacity thin. Many people in this group describe feeling like they are constantly choosing between competing needs, which leads to ongoing stress and financial strain.
The wider economic cost of unpaid caregiving in the U.S.
A report by the AARP Public Policy Institute states that unpaid caregiving contributes an estimated $470 billion in economic value each year. This number highlights the essential nature of caregiving, as well as the significant sacrifices families make to provide it.
For more context about costs:
- In Massachusetts, the average monthly cost for assisted living is near $7,120
- In Connecticut, the average is about $5,129
Why traditional estimates miss the true cost of caregiving
Many online calculators underestimate the total cost of caregiving because they overlook:
- Impact on long-term career growth
- Emotional and relationship strain
- Lost retirement earnings
- Hidden medical costs for caregivers
- Family tension around unequal responsibilities
A realistic financial picture includes more than receipts. It consists of the value of your time, health, and future stability.
How to calculate your own cost of caregiving
Many families discover that expenses build slowly and are easy to overlook until they are gathered in one place. Taking time to review the full picture can help you understand how much support you provide each week and how that affects your own well-being.
Consider looking at the following areas:
- Track weekly caregiving hours
- Add annual out-of-pocket expenses
- Calculate lost wages or missed benefits
- Consider health-related costs tied to stress
Seeing these numbers clearly often helps families understand when caregiving is no longer sustainable, and prompts informed conversations about options available at communities like The Arbors and The Ivy.
Programs and veterans benefits that can help offset caregiving costs
Caregiving can place a significant financial strain on families, but several state and federal programs may help reduce some of the burden. Exploring these options can offer clarity as you consider long-term support for your loved one. Many families begin by looking into:
The Massachusetts Family Caregiver Support Program
The Family Caregiver Support Program in Massachusetts offers guidance, education, respite resources, and limited financial assistance to eligible caregivers.
The Connecticut Home Care Program for Elders (CHCPE)
The CHCPE helps eligible older adults receive in-home services that may reduce out-of-pocket caregiving expenses.
Veterans benefits when applicable
Programs such as Aid and Attendance may help offset the cost of caregiving or residential care for eligible veterans and spouses.
When to consider assisted living at The Arbors and The Ivy
Many families explore assisted living after realizing the hidden costs of caregiving are affecting their health, relationships, and financial stability. The Arbors and The Ivy provide a welcoming place for older adults across Massachusetts and Connecticut to live with support, companionship, and meaningful daily experiences.
As family-owned communities, there is a deep commitment to treating every resident with dignity, respect, and kindness.
Services include:
- Personalized service plans
- Assistance with daily routines
- Self-administered medication management and limited medication administration
- 24/7 staffing
- Restaurant-style dining
- Recreational, educational, and social programs
- Weekly housekeeping and linen services
Assisted living can create space for families to focus on their relationship again, shifting daily responsibilities to a team that is ready to help.
The FAQs of assisted living communities and costs
How much does assisted living cost?
In Massachusetts, the average monthly cost for assisted living is approximately $7,120, with variations depending on the specific region and services provided. Connecticut’s average is slightly lower, at about $5,129 per month.
Factors influencing these costs include the level of personal care required, the size and type of living accommodations, and the range of amenities offered.
How is assisted living usually paid for?
Most families cover assisted living expenses through a combination of personal savings, long-term care insurance, and assistance programs. Long-term care insurance can offset some costs, but policies vary in coverage.
Veterans may be eligible for benefits through the VA’s Aid and Attendance program, which can provide financial assistance for those who qualify. Additionally, some states offer programs to help cover assisted living costs for eligible residents.
Does Medicare cover assisted living?
Medicare supports many healthcare needs for older adults, but it has limits when it comes to assisted living. It does not cover the full cost of assisted living because its focus is medical care, not day-to-day support.
Medicare may still help with services your loved one receives while living in a community, such as doctor visits, physical therapy, or prescription medications. For ongoing help with daily activities, families usually explore additional payment options.
Does Social Security cover assisted living?
Social Security benefits can serve as a reliable foundation for helping pay for assisted living. While these benefits alone may not cover all assisted living expenses, they can significantly reduce out-of-pocket costs.
Many families use Social Security income in combination with savings, pensions, or financial assistance programs to support a loved one’s care needs. It’s worth calculating your parent’s monthly Social Security income as part of a larger financial strategy for long-term care planning.
Does the monthly fee for assisted living increase annually?
Assisted living communities may adjust their monthly fees each year. These increases help cover rising costs for goods, services, staffing, and daily operations that support high-quality care and amenities. Fee changes are common across the industry, but the amount and timing vary by community.
What if my parents can’t afford assisted living?
For families concerned about affording assisted living, several assistance programs are available:
Massachusetts
The state offers programs like the Group Adult Foster Care (GAFC) and the Personal Care Attendant (PCA) program, which provide financial assistance to eligible residents.
Connecticut
The Connecticut Home Care Program for Elders (CHCPE) assists seniors with limited income in accessing necessary care services.
Explore a community where your parents can flourish, and you can find balance
When caregiving begins to stretch your time, energy, and resources, it may help to explore support that brings balance back to your life and comfort to your parent’s day. Our communities at The Arbors and The Ivy offer warm, welcoming environments across Massachusetts and Connecticut where older adults can enjoy connection, dependable support, and meaningful experiences.
Reach out to the community nearest your family to start a conversation or schedule a tour when you feel ready, and if you are looking for some answers to frequently asked questions about assisted living, we can help.