Searching for the right assisted living community for a parent can feel overwhelming, especially if it is your first time navigating senior care. With so many communities offering similar services, how do you know which one is truly the right fit? While amenities and aesthetics are helpful, the heart of any great community is its people, programs, and care philosophy.
Before making a decision, ask thoughtful, targeted questions to understand what daily life will look like for your loved one. This guide is designed to help adult children feel more confident and informed as you explore options. For even more guidance, visit our FAQs about senior living.
Key questions to ask when searching for assisted living
The best communities feel warm, personal, and rooted in connection. These questions can help you assess the daily environment and lifestyle offerings:
- What are the dining options like? Are meals prepared fresh daily? How many meals are served each day?
- What types of apartments are available? Can couples live together? Are pets allowed?
- How often are rooms cleaned, and is laundry included?
- Is there on-site transportation service, and is it wheelchair accessible?
- Are there outdoor spaces, like porches or walking paths, that residents can use independently?
- What are the community’s social and wellness programs like? Are outings and events included?
Do not forget to get the resident viewpoint on the accommodations and recreational and social activities. When you visit an assisted living facility for a tour, spend some time there, have a meal, and chat with current residents about their experience. Ask about their favorite and least favorite parts of life in the community.
At The Arbors and The Ivy, residents have access to engaging activities, from arts and crafts to music, local excursions, and wellness classes. These experiences encourage connection and quality of life beyond basic care.
Questions about personal care services
Many people begin assisted living with light support, then need more help over time. These questions can help you evaluate how adaptable the care will be:
- How are care needs assessed? Who performs assessments, and how often are they updated?
- What happens if my parent needs more care down the line, such as help with dressing, toileting, or mobility?
- How personalized is the care schedule? Can routines, like morning versus evening showers, be customized?
- How does the community encourage residents to remain as independent as possible?
The Arbors offers personalized service plans that are reviewed regularly and adjusted as needs evolve. Care is designed to support independence while ensuring safety and dignity.
Questions about the care staff
The people who provide care will shape your loved one’s experience. Look for a team that is compassionate, experienced, and invested in residents’ well‑being:
- What is the staff-to-resident ratio during the day and at night?
- What kind of training and experience does your direct care staff receive? How are they prepared to support residents with memory loss or physical limitations?
- Is a nurse on staff? What are their responsibilities and hours?
- Who is responsible when the nurse is off duty?
- Are staff trained to manage behaviors related to dementia, including sundowning or wandering?
- What is the staff turnover rate?
At The Arbors and The Ivy, team members are chosen for their warmth and dedication. Many have been with the communities for years, creating consistency that residents and families value. Nursing staff are available seven days a week, and additional third-party health providers offer on-site support as needed.
Questions about health care services
Even though an assisted living community is not a hospital, the ability to coordinate and respond to health needs is essential. These questions can help you understand how medical support is managed:
- Are care plans documented in writing? Who is involved in creating and reviewing these plans?
- What happens when there is a disagreement about a care plan?
- How are changes in health monitored, and how often are updates shared with families?
- What health professionals are available on-site, such as physical therapy, podiatry, or wound care?
- What is the protocol if my parent feels unwell or has a medical emergency?
- How are medications managed? Who is authorized to distribute them, and how are staff trained?
- Can my parent use their preferred pharmacy?
The Arbors uses written service plans that are reviewed routinely with residents and families, and the team coordinates with outside providers as needed.
Questions about memory care
Even if your loved one does not currently need memory care, it is smart to choose a senior living community that offers it, especially if dementia or Alzheimer’s disease runs in the family. Here is what to ask:
- Is there a separate neighborhood or program for residents with memory loss?
- How does care in memory support differ from traditional assisted living?
- How many residents are there, and what is the staff-to-resident ratio?
- How experienced are your staff members, and how are they trained for memory care?
- How is nutrition managed for residents who may forget to eat or struggle with utensils?
- What types of activities are offered for residents with memory challenges?
- Are outdoor spaces available in memory care, and are they secured and monitored?
- How are behavioral issues managed, and what is the policy on restraints?
- Can couples remain together if one requires dementia care and the other does not?
The Arbors and The Ivy offer specialized memory care through the Reflections Memory Program, available at select locations like The Ivy at Ellington. Programs provide a secure, calming environment with structured routines, sensory engagement, and meaningful activities.
Cost, contracts, and what is included
Pricing and contract terms vary widely, so clarity up front can prevent surprises later. Consider asking:
- What is included in the monthly fee, and what services incur additional charges?
- How are care levels defined, and what triggers a change in level or rate?
- Are deposits or community fees refundable, in full or in part?
- What are policies around a short-term hold if a resident is hospitalized?
- How are annual increases determined and communicated?
- Does the community accept long-term care insurance, and how is billing handled?
- What happens if my parent runs out of funds?
Assisted living is residential care, not skilled nursing, and most medical insurance plans do not pay for room and board. For help comparing communities, bring a written list of your non-negotiables, then use the same set of questions at each tour so you can evaluate options side by side.
Safety, emergency planning, and resident rights
Safety involves both building features and clear procedures. Consider these questions during your visit:
- What is the plan for medical emergencies, power outages, and severe weather?
- How are falls prevented, and how are incidents documented and communicated to families?
- Are there secured entry systems and visitor sign-in processes?
- What training do staff receive on infection prevention and resident rights?
- How are concerns or grievances reported and resolved?
If you ever need independent help resolving a concern, each state has a Long-Term Care Ombudsman program that advocates for residents of assisted living and other long-term care settings.
Tour checklist: what to look for during your visit
Here is a list to get you started on making an informed decision about communities:
- First impressions and cleanliness, including common areas and restrooms
- Smiles and greetings from staff and residents, including how staff address residents
- Mealtime experience, including aroma, menu variety, and flexible seating
- Noise level, lighting, and ease of wayfinding for residents with low vision
- Apartment layout options, storage, and accessibility features
- Activity calendar variety, including options for weekends and evenings
- Safe outdoor access, including benches, shade, and level walking paths
- Transportation calendar, with destinations and frequency
- Clearly posted staffing, including who is on duty overnight
How to compare communities side by side
A structured approach makes decisions easier:
- Define needs and preferences. List daily supports your parent wants now and likely will need within 6 to 12 months.
- Shortlist 3 to 5 communities. Focus on those that meet location, budget, and service criteria.
- Tour at different times. Visit once during a weekday, then again on a weekend or evening to see staffing and activities.
- Eat a meal on site. Taste the food and observe how dining staff assist residents.
- Review sample care plans. Ask how goals are set and how progress is tracked.
- Clarify communication routines. Confirm who calls you, when, and how.
- Ask about transitions. Discuss options if needs increase, including memory support or short-term rehabilitation stays arranged with outside providers.
- Confirm resident rights and grievance steps. Know how to escalate concerns if needed.
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between assisted living and a nursing home?
Assisted living is residential care with help for daily activities, such as bathing, dressing, and meals. Nursing homes provide 24-hour licensed nursing and more complex medical care. Many families choose assisted living when a loved one needs daily support but does not require continuous skilled nursing.
How are medications managed in assisted living?
In many communities, trained staff assist with reminders, storage, and distribution. At The Arbors and the Ivy, medication support follows clear protocols and staff training standards, as outlined in medication management. Always ask who oversees the process, how errors are prevented, and how new prescriptions are documented.
When is the right time to move a loved one to assisted living?
Consider a move when daily tasks regularly cause stress or safety concerns, such as missed medications, frequent falls, or poor nutrition. If family caregiving is becoming unsustainable or lonely days are the norm, a community with social connection and consistent support can help.
How can I address concerns after move-in?
Start with the resident care team or community leadership. Keep notes, agree on next steps, and schedule a follow-up. If you need outside help, your state’s ombudsman program can provide guidance and advocacy.
Local senior living that feels like home
The decision to move a parent into assisted living is often not easy, but asking the right questions makes it manageable. By focusing on quality of care, flexibility of services, and long-term fit, you can choose a community that supports your parent’s needs today and into the future.
At The Arbors and The Ivy, our teams welcome your questions, encourage tours, and are happy to review service plans and activity calendars. Explore programs like dining, social and wellness activities, and memory support to see how we help residents feel at home.