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5 Tips for Avoiding Family Conflict When Searching for Assisted Living

Moving from home to an assisted living community is a big change for both your parent, as well as you. For some families, they will have never felt stronger and united than the day they see their mom or dad happy in the assisted living community chosen. For others, conflict and turmoil will make this one of the most difficult decisions ever faced.

Stepping into the role of decision-maker (or even in a supportive role) when making a care decision for an aging parent can shift family dynamics can unearth long-buried tensions and family grievances.

Consider these tips to help avoid unwanted family conflict.

  1. Communicate

Getting to the point of searching for an assisted living community can feel like an accomplishment all in itself. But just because mom or dad has agreed to the search doesn’t mean he or she is fully on board with it.

Your parent may be fearful of the decision, or in denial about how much assistance with day to day activities they really need. The transition is a process, so keep the communication lines open. Consider holding regular family meetings. Above all, listen to your parent and ask questions.

  1. Allow time for grieving

As with any major change in life, there is a measure of grieving over leaving the life you knew behind. That can come from moving cities, becoming empty nesters or, certainly, moving out of your own home and into assisted living. This is a normal reaction, and being able to recognize the stage of grief your parent may be experiencing will allow you to identify the best way to support them.

Be patient through this stage. The more involved your parent can be in the decision-making process, the higher the chances they’ll be happy with the choice.

  1. Know what care your parent needs

Assisted living communities offer an array of different services and care levels. There are also differences in what they prioritize in their community, whether its safety features, nutrition programs, or outings and activities. If everyone in the family has a different idea of what your parent needs or wants, finding consensus about which one to choose can be difficult.

Often times, an assessment is part of moving to an assisted living community and can bring clarity as to the needs of your parent, as well as future potential needs. An assessment shouldn’t replace a one-on-one conversation with your parent to determine what they find to be the most important deciding factors when selecting a community.

  1. Know your financial options

Figuring out how to pay for assisted living can be a source of conflict. Medicare doesn’t cover it, and very few people have long-term care insurance.

The first step is to do a financial audit. Know what assets your parent has — their house, retirement savings, life insurance policies, pensions. Find out what each family member is able and willing to contribute. If your parent qualifies for a Veterans Pension, they might also qualify for a supplemental Aid and Attendance benefit that helps pay for assisted living. They can also convert a life insurance policy into a long-term care benefit.

  1. Keep the end in mind

There are many things to consider when choosing an assisted living community, and you’ll be balancing the sometimes-competing priorities of location, convenience, services, amenities, and cost. As you consider your options, be sure to identify which of these priorities is mot important to your family and your loved one. And most importantly, keep the end in mind: a happy, healthy parent in an environment where they can thrive.

Choosing an assisted living community can be a complex decision. Conflict will likely occur at some stage in the process, but well managed, it may just bring your family closer together.

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Assisted living can be a touchy subject. No matter how you approach it, your parent is likely to have objections to something.

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This guide will go over what you need to know before you make a decision.


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The Arbors Assisted Living-Guide-Assisted Living Costs and AffordabilityAre you considering assisted living for yourself or a loved one but are hesitant about the cost? Assisted living costs, services and amenities vary greatly among the last and most expensive communities, and costs are higher in some states than others.

This guide will answer questions you may have about the costs of assisted living and recommend resources to help you pay for it.


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The Arbors Assisted Living-Guide-Having “The Talk” With Your Parent: It’s Time for Assisted Living
Talking to your aging parent about moving to an assisted living community isn’t easy.

Often, many adult children avoid bringing it up because it can be a sensitive topic.

This guide will provide you with helpful tips and insight on how to have a productive conversation with your parent and siblings regarding your parent’s future.


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The Arbors Assisted Living-Guide-The Challenges of Aging: How to Handle Your Aging Parent’s Difficult BehaviorsDifficult behaviors in elderly adults are very common. They may be an expression of frustration your loved one feels or a symptom of early stages of dementia or Alzheimer’s.

This guide will provide you with skills and knowledge on how to handle difficult behaviors your aging parent may be experiencing.


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The Arbors Assisted Living-Guide-Becoming a Family Caregiver: What You Need to Know Before Deciding to Take Care of a Loved One
Becoming a family caregiver can be a rewarding experience. It also has its challenges.

There are many questions to answer before making the decision to take care of a loved one.

This guide will provide answers to questions you may have on this topic.


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The Arbors Assisted Living-Guide-Helping Your Parent Manage DepressionIs your parent or loved one depressed, or just in a bad mood?

What does medication and illness have to do with depression?

How can you help? In this guide, you will be provided with answers to the difficult questions you may have about depression.


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The Arbors Assisted Living-Guide-Is It Depression? A Guide to Identifying and Addressing Depression in Aging AdultsHas your aging parent recently lost interest in activities they used to enjoy? Have you noticed a change in their mood and behavior?

This guide will provide you with resources and tools on how to identify depression, what are the common causes of depression, and how to promote mental health in your aging loved one.


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The Arbors Assisted Living-Guide-Assisted Living Frequently Asked Questions and Answers
Does your loved one need more support than what they are getting? Would they benefit from some assistance with daily activities?

In this guide, you’ll find answers to the most common questions asked about assisted living.


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Has your dad stopped getting together for lunches or outings with friends or visits with neighbors? Have you stopped enjoying time with your parents because you’re a caregiver?

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No one ever plans to be sick or disabled, and disasters, man-made or natural, can happen at any time, anywhere.

Yet older adults are among the most vulnerable during a crisis. That’s why it’s critical that seniors, and those who care for them, prepare for emergencies.


NOTE: Your privacy is important to us. We’ll never share your details nor spam your inbox.

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Guide-Guide to Making the Move to Assisted Living
Moving to assisted living is a life-changing event.

This guide provides tips and ideas on downsizing, what to pack and how to make the transition smooth for your senior parent.


NOTE: Your privacy is important to us. We’ll never share your details nor spam your inbox.

Instant Access to Free Guide

 

Guide-Solutions to Common Caregiving ChallengesIn this eBook, you’ll learn how to talk with family and friends about caregiving challenges, how to deal with a parent who is resistant to help, how to get more caregiving help from your siblings, and how to keep your job while caregiving.


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How Moving My Loved One to The Arbors Eliminated My Caregiving ChallengesHave you had to cut back your hours at work to care for your mom? Are you worried about administering medications or injections?

Have you stopped getting together with friends, either because you don’t have the time or you’re too exhausted? Are you becoming the invisible second patient?


NOTE: Your privacy is important to us. We’ll never share your details nor spam your inbox.

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Guide-When is the Right Time for Memory Care?In this guide, you’ll learn about the difference between Alzheimer’s and dementia, including the early symptoms of dementia; the seven stages of dementia and the symptoms that typically accompany each one; and the signs it’s time to start exploring your memory care options.


NOTE: Your privacy is important to us. We’ll never share your details nor spam your inbox.

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Guide-What to Look for in a Memory Care CommunityIn this guide, you’ll learn about the difference between assisted living and memory care, how healthcare professionals are trained in dementia care, common features of a memory care community, and questions you should ask when exploring your memory care options.


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Guide-Brothers and Sisters
Navigating adult sibling relationships can be a challenge, but coming together for the sake of your parent is important.

In this guide, you’ll learn about common sibling conflicts that arise when caring for parents, strategies for getting siblings on board, and where to turn to for help.


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Guide-The StandoffAssisted living can be a touchy subject. No matter how you approach it, your parent is likely to have objections to something.

As you help them transition to a new stage of life, it helps to be prepared with answers to their questions and concerns.


NOTE: Your privacy is important to us. We’ll never share your details nor spam your inbox.

Instant Access to Free Guide

 

Guide-11 Most Common Caregiving Challenges
A Guide to the Most Common Family Caregiver Challenges Associated with Caring for an Aging Parent.

You’ll learn about the true costs of being a family caregiver, common family conflicts that can occur when caring for parents, and some of the unexpected challenges of caregiving.


NOTE: Your privacy is important to us. We’ll never share your details nor spam your inbox.

Instant Access to Free Guide

 

Guide-Checklist_ Questions to Ask When Touring an Assisted Living Community
This checklist will help to make sure you are getting the most out of your visit to The Arbors.

The list details what important questions to ask during your visit so you are able to make an enlightened choice and find the best assisted living community for your needs.

NOTE: Your privacy is important to us. We’ll never share your details nor spam your inbox.

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Guide-What is Assisted Living Really LikeIf you’re unsure what Assisted Living looks like in real life, whether there is a difference with nursing homes or a desire to see how community life unfolds, then this guide is exactly what you need.

A guide to discover the Care Team and a Typical Day in Assisted Living.

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Instant Access to Free Cost Comparison guide

You’re probably wondering how much the different senior living options compare to your current situation.
If you do, then this guide is exactly what you need.


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